So what started this was a path of self discovery that I am on and have been for a long, long time. I love paranormal and imagination and creativity. And paranormal at its best, I think, is just a metaphor for life. Okay I may be one of those people who can take anything and twist it to suit their view, but here goes. Most of this is based on my collective eclectic mind and I have somehow managed to combine twilight and Bugs Bunny into an argument for self respect.
Has everyone seen Twilight? Bella is cherished by Edward and treated like a princess - right? (In fact its border line creepy) he sneaks into her room and is so strong and wise, he holds all the power and protects her, he doesn’t show emotion and he holds the potential for great violence. I would go so far as to say Bella is his perfect doll? And he, the ideal charming, strong, controlling man. Although Stephenie gives him a certain gentle domineering edge that drives women wild. But still, he is controlling and Bella weak and gentle.
I like many girls am a strong independent woman who was once a sensitive quiet child and a very good girl, just like my mother told me I was, my favourite colour was pink and I played babies. I was all things nice. - Cut to 20 years later and I raise a kid on my own, hold down a job, study for a diploma, run a business and write novels (and write blog entries). All of which I do well. Plus I look after myself inside and out as best I can.
So why is it that people close to me in my life speak to me like I am a piece of s@#t?
- When I was little I wanted to be a princess I guess - well actually apparently I told my best friend at the time that I wanted to be Bugs Bunny or a Barbie doll. I remember why too, everyone liked Bugs - he had charisma, yes Bugs was cool and I guess Barbie had that admiration and great life (mansion and convertible) and that security everyone wants (sex appeal and money?). Let's just say that for a strange kid there was method in my madness. That was lost along the way.
In society we are raised to want strong aggressive domineering men and we in turn are raised to be good gentle girls, to keep our legs together and never speak up (I am exaggerating slightly). We spend our time and money on frivolous things to keep us from taking over the world. (The Female Eunuch, the Beauty Myth). While boys are taught to be aggressive and violent males and of course this results in the classic double standards, if a girl acts like a “man” she is a “bitch” or a “whore” etc.
I watched an episode of Oprah once, where some self proclaimed "expert" said women had to chose between being respected or being cherished (Oprah swore she wanted both and refused to be talked out of it. I respect her). (I tend to remember things that both resonate and puzzle me).
And like I mentioned I was a very good girl (hard to believe I know. If I was bad mum, I blame it entirely on hormones). I guess subconsciously I wanted to be cherished the way I was supposed to and perhaps I was, but I definitely was not ever respected (I suppose it’s less becoming), this was pointed out to me long ago by someone, who has respect in her family.
And now that I am a woman of nearly thirty years - I see the light and I will stand up for my respect. You see my entire life I have been rather disrespected. This is not what I want.
I know what is far more important to me, is to be loved and respected - and treated as such. Now that sounds all wonderful doesn't it? And so easy - and it is - except for those who have my entire life, cherished me and not respected me. I need to show them the way. Change is very hard.
This causes conflict as they adjust to the new situation. This isn’t about ego (yes I have read Eckhart Tolle). Nor is it a feminist issue. It’s about maturing and letting go of that which no longer serves us and becoming who we are, free of intimidation and fear and societal and parental preconceptions – basically really growing up. (Freud? Doctor Phil?).
Because if you don’t look after yourself no one else will (well, unless maybe you are really cherished?).
So in the final book in the twilight saga, Bella becomes a vampire (sorry if you didn’t know how is the rock you live under?). She becomes Edwards equal as a fellow immortal. In fact, she is stronger than him, as a “new born”. He no longer has to worry and fawn over her and they face a common enemy together. Stephenie got it right in the end. Bella became Barbie and bugs in one, right? And she was happier and felt better for it and Edward loves her just as much if not more because that’s who she was meant to be.
Don't get me wrong, it is nice to be cherished and if you want that fine, good for you. But wouldn’t it be nicer to be loved and respected? Because if the people around you treat you that way, they deserve your love and that is mutual respect.
"I feel like young girls are told that they have to be this kind of princess and be all delicate and fragile, and it’s bullshit. I identified much more with the idea of being a warrior, and being a fighter…I think women are scared of feeling powerful and strong and brave, and I think that’s something they’ve got to embrace." (Emma Watson)
"I'm a feminist, but I think that romance has been taken away a bit for my generation. I think what people connect with in novels is this idea of an overpowering, encompassing love - and it being more important and special than anything and everything else." (Emma Watson)
Artemis the Demi Goddess. Now she has R.E.S.P.E.C.T
Book feature: http://noveldtales.blogspot.com.au/20...